Here’s some pet peeves that I come across when I’m reading DJ bios. Take note of these; they can really make or break how you present yourself.
5. “Inspired by…”
Wrong: “Inspired by Ryan Seacrest and Yanni : Live at the Acropolis”
WHO THE !@#!ing CARES?! Dropping artist names to fluff up your bio, especially if you’re only inspired by them, serve you ZERO purpose. Except maybe let on that you’re a gigantic poser that has a huge MP3 collection.
If you’re going to drop names, drop names of people you have actually worked with. Being the water boy does not count; bong technician, maybe.
Warming up for a big act also scores points.
4. “Have been to…”
Wrong: “Went to the Winter Music Conference to see Tiesto.”
Going someplace, or attending some event is not the same as having played or organized an event. Again, alludes to the possibility that you’re a poser douche-bag.
Include events that you helped to put together. Communicating to your audience about how you contribute to the scene is WAY more impressive than being a backseat sheep attendee.
Also include places that you’ve played at – include two to three gigs that REALLY matter in the main bio. You can put your full list of formal appearances on another sheet.
3. “Sounds like…”
Wrong: “His mixing style is like Grooverider and Roger Sanchez COMBINED!”
*Shrug* Like a prison bitch cokehead.
You can’t TELL anyone what you sound like. Let them HEAR you. Let them SEE you. But please… PLEASE don’t TELL them.
Jacking up people’s expectations verbally, without demonstration, is a sure-fire way to have an audience clear the floor after you drop poo-poo onto the platter. Demonstrating through audio and video helps with managing the expectations of the people you are performing for.
Why do you think we ask for mixes all the time?
4. “You will be amazed…” ” You will be impressed…” “You will not be disappointed when he steps to the decks…” etc etc.
Wrong : “When he is tearing up the wheels you never know what sound is right around the corner, with the element of surprise being his niche he will keep you moving and wondering what’s next.” (this was from a real bio)
The more you tell me that I will like you, the more you tell me that you’re full of shit. Why are you rationalizing for me? Why are you boring? Why should I care in the first place. Please f**k off.
You can change all of this by including testimonials from OTHER people and what THEY thought about your mix. It holds way more credibility and it doesnt make you out to be some hopeless ego-case.
5. “He’s a Child Prodigy…”
Wrong: “He’s been mixing since the tender itty-witty age of 15…”
Awww… he’s so young. So precious.
MOZART was a CHILD PRODIGY. Unless you were !@#!@ing scratching at the age of 3 and writing anthems for Tiesto at 5, you are NOT a Child Prodigy.
If you’re adding this point just to say how long you’ve been doing it, then it’s only going to point out how long you’ve been struggling to create an impact.
If you’ve been mixing since you were 15 and you got your 1st gig when you were 27 – and you still think you’re a child prodigy. Then you are a douche.
But with that said. Child prodigies DO exist:
So keep a look out for these points in any bios and press packs that you might be recieving in the future. Promoters and A&R people are trained to spot these kinds of embellishments, leaving your demo and bio in the rejected bin.
Create a truly unique, stand-out bio that demonstrates your accolades in a non-pretentious, douchebag way – I guarantee that you’ll be creating much more of an impact with your audience and potential jobs.